I started today with motivation and intention: I was going to do the best I could to run (and I don’t run) over two miles in honor of Ahmaud Arbery. I could not have managed it just a couple of weeks ago because I smoked 2 packs a day, but I was seriously determined today. I fast walked, and ran at every crosswalk. My only regrets were 1.) I forgot my knee brace, and 2.) I should have worn a sports bra. I did it. I didn’t have a fit bit to track it, but I ran all the way from my house, into downtown, down Wilmington St., and up Morgan until it turned into New Bern Ave., then headed to Lenoir St. and back toward Rock Quarry Rd. I did it, and I want to do it again (after I recover, I’m hurting.)
Little did I know that while I was running in meditation of an unarmed, black jogger, murdered by a couple of white guys “flexing their 2nd amendment rights”, as I was running in downtown, I must have barely missed whatever shitshow this was (link is a video, text is below):
“Pushing his two kids in a stroller along Fayetteville Street on Saturday morning, Deonte Thomas wandered into a confrontation with a small group of armed demonstrators that left him fearing for his family 24 hours later.
Videos shot by the protesters and The News & Observer and posted online show one unidentified man from the group, carrying a large pipe wrench and crossing the street at the intersection with Davie Street. He heads straight toward Thomas, his wife and their children in a crosswalk.
“I will question to the end of my days how I reacted or should have reacted,” Thomas, an attorney for the Wake County public defender’s office, told The News & Observer in an interview Sunday.”
So you’re feeling like punching some nazis these days, huh? Me too. I do have some therapy for you, in the form of binge watching, and that’s the show “Hunters“. It is literally about a group of people (mostly Holocaust survivors), who hunt and kill nazis. The premise of the show is based on truth- our country, good ole’ USA, essentially hired nazi scientists after the war to keep the Russians from getting them. They settled in here (yes, many near NASA), and did research and development for all different kinds of programs. Click here for “Operation Paperclip”.
The show is set in the 1970’s, and while there is a certain amount of relief that those old nazis are mostly dead now- they had children, and those children had children. This shit you’re seeing today, well, where do you think some of these “values” come from? It comes from leftover nazi shit mixed with the KKK shit from the states. In any case, binge and rage watch “Hunters”, you won’t regret it. I’m on episode 6, and it’s cathartic af.
When I was a super-young person, we really, truly thought that things were getting better and life was becoming more progressive. There were some forms of optimism in the 90’s, but later I have learned that it was because people were simply hiding. We never saw all this overt racism, because it had all gone underground to fester for a little while. We really thought it was just those backwards hillbillies on “The Jerry Springer Show” that showed up in white cloaks from Whiteville, NC (literally). Now, racists just letting it all hang out, they just don’t care anymore. Worse than that, we have also learned that all of that time they were “being quiet”, the white supremacists were busy infiltrating our government, law enforcement, court systems, and any other high power position that they could put themselves into, all undercover. They were playing the long game, while everyone else decided that racism had “gone out of favor”.
Now honestly, I don’t know exactly what anyone should do when confronted by a group of armed racists. You can scream at them, but they are armed. You can threaten them, but they are armed. If you are also armed, and you pull yours out, it will basically give them the right to shoot you on the spot, and they will probably get away with it. The best thing to do is get as far away from them as possible, which is what the family today did. There are folks in the comments saying “Well if it was me, I would have screamed and hollered and blah blah blah”… YEAH RIGHT. I bet. Lots of folks have said “Why are they smiling?” Have you ever heard of the “Please don’t kill me” smile? It’s the automatic smile that women give threatening men to keep them from attacking them; a phrase known in feminist circles, and something every woman can tell you about. It’s an uncomfortable smile, meant to disarm and de-escalate a would-be attacker. I know EXACTLY why they were smiling, and it wasn’t because they were happy.
Now, I’m going to try to run again tomorrow, to let off some steam and frustration. I am also planning to binge watch more “Hunters”. I’m also calling all of the Moms in my life (don’t forget to call yours). Don’t forget to take a moment (maybe while running, maybe while in quiet meditation) to think of all of the moms that don’t get to talk to their children this year because someone decided they needed to take matters into their own hands and murder them.