Yesterday’s blog was definitely not about the advantages of being afraid to be around humans. The advantages to this mess, for me, can be summed up very simply: I would have never quit smoking or drinking, I would have never started running/jogging/walking (not like this, maybe something a little lighter), and my yard would have never looked this amazing. Why? I would have been distracted, probably by people. I would have been distracted by nights out at the bar, vodka, cigarettes, whatever I had to do during the day, and the constant rat race that our lives have become. If you needed some positives, there are some.
I probably wouldn’t have dyed my hair, or if I had, I wouldn’t have taken my time with it. I probably wouldn’t do my nails every other day. I never had time for that shit, or I didn’t perceive that I had time for that shit. I probably wouldn’t take large swaths of time to see how far I can travel all over town on my feet simply because “who has time for that”? A friend of mine said that the other day, that he simply “Didn’t have 2 hours to do anything”, and I was like “You work for yourself? How do you not have 2 hours to do anything? That doesn’t even make sense.” It’s because he perceives that he doesn’t have time. I know he has time to drink multiple beers in a night. I know he has time for a movie. It’s a matter of priorities at that point.
I have had many jobs that I was so exhausted from when I got off that I couldn’t have even thought about putting more hurting on my tootsies than was absolutely necessary. Many of my jobs have required me on my feet for hours and hours, conversely, it was much easier to keep my weight down during that time- the activities were built right into my daily job. Easy-peasy. I get that feeling and absolutely wouldn’t be doing this if that were my life now. In those days I did a lot of crunches and pushups instead. These days I think that planks and burpees would probably do me the most good, and I’ve gotten some of those giant rubber band things, so I’ve got to really check those out.
Tomorrow I really should take the day off from walking (or at least walking so much) and let my calves have a rest because they are absolutely so sore, and have been every day for the past 8. I may do a shorter walk because I had a friend that wanted a walk buddy, and try to do some other types of more body conditioning, resistance exercises. I’ve turned myfitnesspal back on and integrated it with a walking app (like I used to have my fitbit done). I do really like that walking and running makes it so I really don’t have to worry so hard about what I eat.
Being a person over 40, especially a woman, is hard. We require about 1400 calories a day (if you don’t have a physical job), 1200 if you’re losing weight. Exercising makes it so that you can eat like a “normal person”. Really, I’m not extravagant, and I am a very healthy eater, but even I can get very depressed very quickly at how little we’re “supposed” to eat. It’s really hard to get enough protein, calcium, zinc, iron, and potassium at such tiny amounts of food too- in fact, I’ve never been able to do it, no matter how hard I’ve tried. You simply cannot eat that few calories and get a daily dose of everything that you need to be healthy. Vitamins are the cheat for that (at least for calcium, iron and zinc). Protein, you just have to plug away at it and know that the app will tell you that you have eaten too much cholesterol, no matter how careful you are. I have never gotten enough potassium. I don’t know what you would have to eat in a day to reach that number, and I’ve tried it all and studied it all, trying to find the perfect balance.
So, this is what I’m going to control and obsess over for a while. I don’t have alcohol to take up a bunch of garbage calories, so it should be a bit more healthy than I’ve been in the past. I just have to do something, and now is the time for doing pretty much anything at all (that doesn’t involve people).